Bye Bye 2009

Samantha and me at my going away party

Although I've been prepping for New Year's Eve plans, I haven't really stopped to think what this means. Today is the last day of 2009. I still think of this year as if ten years ago were the 90s. So much has happened this year. I started college. I moved into my first apartment. I've really began to develop a set of personal and professional interests that I truly feel like I can call my own. Living in Berkeley has taught me so much about people, about what I like, about what I don't like, about who I want to be and how to defy what I think others want me to be.

Me at my first college party night

D'arcy, me, and Jade at my dad's wedding

While I feel like I've grown a lot this year, I have still struggled with a lot of emotions. I'm still not entirely comfortable with myself around my family. I'm still self-conscious about everything I do, even though people continue to tell me that I shouldn't be. This may be why this year has been romantically dry. I just need to find my balance between what is reality and what is the fantasy I want to fulfill. Something I can work on for 2010: be more assertive and confident, more easily said than done.

Britney Spears: The Circus

Seika and me at the end of Spring semester

I began taking classes in my major, Media Studies, and fell in love with the subject. I left every class feeling more and more inspired by the world in which we live. I don't really feel as blinded by what I experience every day. I just love it, hopefully I can stay in the major because I truly love it and it would make my Berkeley experience worth while. Something I can work on in 2010: find what else in Berkeley makes me happy so I don't do something irrational and leave.

Front row at Kylie Minogue's first North American tour

Me and Kylie Minogue

I have struggled with a lot of personal relationships this year. I have such a hard time not getting emotionally attached to every single interaction that I come across. I over-think every situation, which contributes to be low self-confidence. I try to come across happy and bubbly, but there are truly very few people who make me happy. Those people who do make me happy, truly do. There are a handful of people, however, who really cause me to go to sleep feeling pretty shitty. Something I can work on in 2010: not letting everything get to me.

Me, Jonathan, and John having a BARE night

Aesthetically, something that means a lot to me, I have matured and developed a lot. I have been able to incorporate my love of pop culture and pop music into a more mature and serious aesthetic. This year, I saw Britney Spears, No Doubt, Kylie Minogue, and Lady Gaga; all of whom have had a tremendous impact on my life. I don't know what it is about pop music and these girls specifically, but I have just always felt a huge connection to them. Seeing them all in the same year really makes this a landmark year. While many would think that it is superficial of me to consider seeing them a pivotal moment, they just don't understand. I think as a boy who spent the first 17 years of his life in the closet, these artists provided a way to express myself without feeling persecuted for being who I am. So seeing them and feeling the same energy they felt, it just means so much to me, making 2009 quite special to me.

Production team photo post-shoot

My Halloween costume: Pop Star on the Moon

I feel like 2009 wasn't amazing, it definitely was an important year for me. There I go again, putting myself down because of my unnaturally high standards. Right now, my high standards and expectations keep me down, but I am hoping that my disinterest in accepting mediocrity will benefit me in the long run.

Zoe and me at Lady Gaga's The Monster Ball

I hope 2010 meets my expectations, it would be a big step for me.

Jackson and me waiting for The Monster Ball

Me and Elana hanging out during winter break, 2009

xo

Bubble Dreams

A performance of Speechless by Lady Gaga. I know she does this song frequently but I love the hair/dress combination and I am loving the launch of the new site Vevo. Ironically, I use the YouTube version, but it's only because I don't like the way that Vevo videos embed on this blog. Enjoy!

From Madrid, With Love

Today I had the privilege of viewing the visual phenomenon that is Tom Ford's debut film, A Single Man. The film was so much more than I had imagined. Each frame was so beautifully directed and every moment was so gorgeous and it portrayed gay men exactly as they should be portrayed. The trailer is completely misleading in the sense that there is no heterosexuality to be found in A Single Man. Just beautiful men and beautiful acting and beautiful production. One of the highlights for me was the appearance of one of Ford's muses, Jonathan Kortajarena. While only in the film for a few minutes, his presence is truly breathtaking and he provides a shift for the main character George, played by Colin Firth. Below are some gorgeous photos of Kortajarena. I'll post a link to my review of the film when it's posted on the BARE Blog.

She Killed It!

Today, being an agnostic Jew on Christmas, I will be doing nothing but eating and laying on the couch and watching season 4 of Dexter. I started season 1 last Friday and will most likely finish season 4 today. Sounds a little insane but this break, I want to do nothing but be re-immersed in pop culture. I hate when school becomes "priority" to what I really love. Hopefully a Coffee Bean is open in the San Fernando Valley because I would really appreciate a vanilla latte right now.

As my gift to you, whomever you may be, I present you with my dream outfit as worn by Lady Gaga. She swapped out the high-waisted pants she'd been wearing for her more traditional pants-less look. I just about died when I saw this on the Lady the other night. You know me, cover anything in mirror squares and I'm a happy camper. Gaga did just that AND added Madonna-esque mirrored cones over her bubbies to really complete the look. This was surely a Christmas present to me so hopefully you will appreciate it as much as I did. Thanks Gaga Clause!

Living In Sin

Anyone who knows me knows that I love me some Cheryl Cole. While her solo attempt is at best a pop-mediocrity-fest, she will forever hold a place in my heart as the stunning, sassy songstress of British girl group, Girls Aloud. Her album, 3 Words, has become a sort of guilty pleasure for me because I almost feel bad for listening to the horrible lyrics penned by Will.I.Am. The music is fun and mindless, which I usually like, but I feel like someone with the talent and resources that Cheryl has should do something a little more...inspiring. Lyrics like "Some days I'm sweet and some I'm sour but I can't help but drink you up cos you're my happy hour" don't really do much for the state of pop music. However, she always looks so ridiculously stunning and flawless in every photo of her. She proves this in her Sin City inspired photo shoot for Q Magazine. Enjoy the gorgeousness.

Planet Disco

Absolutely amazing. I don't know what it is about disco balls that make me so giddy. Maybe it's the fun that they represent. Maybe it's the reflectivity of every tiny piece that creates such an iconic symbol. It probably just has to do with my sexuality. Regardless, this is a beautiful photo of a beautiful object that I found on Hedi Slimane's website. As if it wasn't implied already, this man is a genius.

Want Your Bad Romance

Virgin Mobile has been giving Little Monsters who attend Lady Gaga's The Monster Ball the opportunity to take photos inside of Lady Gaga's infamous orbitals. Here is my close-up from the first Los Angeles show at Nokia Theater. I need to get one more photo tomorrow night because they only posted one out of about five photos that we took.

Genius + Genius = Genius

One of my favorite photographers (if not my favorite), David LaChapelle produced a new set of photos of one of my favorite pop divas, Lady Gaga in various different, over the top costumes and settings. Perhaps why I love both of these gay icons is because of their shared aesthetic of nothing being too much and how ridiculously camp they both are. They just make me happy and are so visually stimulating. Kind of loving the King Kong themed photo with Kanye West. It's kind of amazing. AH! Okay, now I will continue to gaze at these beautiful works of art.

Photos via GagaDaily

Where dem bloggers at?

Rihanna's newly released video for "Hard." This song is the shit, her new album Rated R has really grown on me. I definitely need like 90% of the outfits in this video and I need to find out where I can get myself a hot pink tank. No one would fuck with me if I had that, I think that's Rihanna's point. Back in LA for the next month, excited to be away from the ridiculosity that is Berkeley.

Absolutely Wonderous

Finally, the new trailer for Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland and it gives more of a perspective into the actual story line. It looks visually stunning and the story sounds amazing. I can not wait for this. Literally. Can not wait. I will be seeing this film at exactly midnight on IMAX. I seriously...die.

Put Your Paws Up.

I have spent the past two nights with someone who has become very important to me, and her name is Lady Gaga. Since I missed The Fame Ball last April, this was my first encounter with Gaga at The Monster Ball on December 13 and 14 at the Bill Graham Civic Auditorium in San Francisco. I spent most of both days in line studying for my first, last, and most important final and waiting all day was so worth it. The show was quite amazing. A very dark show with really amazing visuals. The set list was kind of amazing, the opening number was fantastic, the projections (often my favorite part of a concert) were absolutely wonderful. It's cool because she used most of the same music from The Fame Ball (with the addition of the music from The Fame Monster) and was able to create a show that is entirely different from before with a completely different theme, mood, idea. Gaga has come such a long way in such a short amount of time. I will be going to the shows in San Diego and Los Angeles starting on Saturday and I am so excited to see the show 3 (possibly 4) more times. These concerts are the cap on a truly amazing year. I saw Britney, Kylie, and Gaga all in the same year and have been inspired by all three in such different ways. I am trying to think of a permanent way to remember these shows as they all represent something a little different inside of me.

My final went okay. I am super nervous, I wrote about High School Musical and Beyonce for the essay questions. I will remain anxious as the fate of my academic career kind of relies on this exam. I will be returning home to Los Angeles this Thursday, very excited to see my puppies and the sunshine.

A Sea of Monochrome

Tricia and Me

Jonathan and I with our model, Dani Haber

Allison and Me

Me, Salome, Nevin, Adam, James, and Hayley

Me and Nevvy

Jonathan and Me

Me and NancyPants

Me and Gina

BARE Execs

Last night, BARE Magazine celebrated it's Issue 6 launch at Henry's at Hotel Durant! So many people I love and care about came out and celebrated, it was so fun and I am so pleased with the issue. These are some of my favorite pictures with the best people from the evening. Yay!

Bohemian Glamour.

This is the photo-shoot that I helped produce, style, direct, coordinate for BARE Magazine. For being college students with literally $0 for budget, I think it turned out great. I am so proud of this, we launched the issue last night and everyone loves it. I am so proud to have been involved. Photo shoots are kind of addicting.

Viva GaGa

The new photo featuring Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper for MAC Viva Glam

via GagaDaily